week eight—fourth Studio project and process paper

The process paper has consumed me. I have not been attentive to the weekly blog check ins on my process. I have retreated to my studio and spent less time online. The Process Paper is a critical component of the pedagogy at the Vermont College of Fine Arts. This reflection on one’s artistic and intellectual trajectory explains how process and practice locate the artist in terms of their actions and place, in their community, in contemporary art and the world of scholarly pursuit. This convergence speaks to the multi-centered and interdisciplinary discourse of knowledge, understanding and making conceptual work. My process paper will use proceeding visual culture topics as developmental signposts. Learning the contemporary theories and vernacular of Place, The Everyday and Affect reframed my work in identity and the human construction of space to engage the inter-subjectivity of meaning.
For my studio project I am, well, all over the place. This is not a new development. I usually have at three three projects working through my ideas. I am making postcards to my daughter daily on our relationships and the production of space. I am photographing studies of dinner plates and pillows examining hospitality and the place as commodity, and I am do a study of the water. I love the smell of pond water. Maine's abundance of water is a blessing. I want to convey the affective presence of movement water has on the sensory system. 
I hate writing [that is my rant in a nutshell], so this is a painful time. I love questions and relationships, but I have had to approach writing in a new way to get this project done.
Questioning became an equally supportive and productive process in my practice. It opened the in-between spaces and broadened my consciousness of differences, textuality, plurality and optimistic skepticism. Herein writing became an integral discourse in itself. I found the quieting of my mind and body painful, but the solitary practice of writing organized my thoughts and provided needed exercise on focusing my questions and staying on task. Effective communication is not a formula but an art of questioning, tweaking and working to develop and expand one’s own knowledge to clarify an understanding. The process is not linear and requires discipline and commitment to achieve results not necessarily apparent or tangible as a product. The satisfaction and achievement is the process of personal and shared engagement with ideas, situations, possibilities and opportunities. I now see the relationships that cross disciplines, interrogate motivations and suspend labels as key spaces to inspire and value human expression and experience. The questioning is a practice of plurality. It is learning the process of seeing beyond what you are looking at and knowing the texture will reveal additional value.

Back to the paper I go. This is a beautiful process however I feel like mincemeat!

August 13th Looking forward to Final studio term

Reviewing the notes from my visual culture workshops and my critiques to set my plan for the process paper and final exhibit. This is a time of reflection, but it is also the anticipation of the day after school and my conversation with the world at large.

August 13th Reflections

The residency was a whirl wind of little sleep, group, individual and candidacy review critiques, and many lectures and exhibitions to spark new interests and ponder many topics from new perspectives. I presented my book, Unorganized Territory—Moosehead Triangle and an exhibit of sixteen images. Thank you to my classmates, the faculty and the staff who make this residency possible and together we pull each other through the beauty and pain. Cheers.

June and July prep Residency!!!

June and July were two of the craziest months I have ever experienced. I scanned, edited, wrote, edited, proofed, and put together a book and photo exhibit on the Unorganized Territory: Moosehead Triangle. I am exhausted but the residency makes all this insanity worth while. July 28- August 7th is the summer 2011 residency at Vermont College of Fine Arts. 

Third Studio term- fifteenth week thru May 21th

crazy: shooting, scanning, laying out, proofing, and questioning......

Third Studio term- sixteenth week thru May 29th

Writing is my least favorite activity— worst than the dentist or giving blood. This past week I reviewed my research on affect and determined, yes, I fetishize the writing process [David Deitcher suggested last term this might me my problem—i laughed thinking of all my shoes and how that could relate to writing, but after this packet's readings I understand. My knowledge and actions associated with writing are negative, so that must be overcome to get the product of a cohesive work. I always work through it, but I dread it!]. The physical distress I get from an outline, an edit, and the final 'send' to my advisor is anxiety about syntax, tenses, and other things my dyslexic mind do not recognize. I love the weaving of ideas and references to authors I admire. I did find an editor for my last paper, and that gave me great relief. My cousin Martha is a wizard with the grammar, spelling and syntax. I love reading, discussing, and making art. We all have our blessings and challenges.
This final visual culture paper is due tomorrow. It consumed my weekend, but I got through it and feel comfortable discussing the materials now. I look forward to presenting at the summer residency.

Third Studio term- seventeenth week thru June 5th

The May critique with Laura, my visual studies advisor, cut to the bone. I have a clear plan to finish this month and prepare for my residency. I had sent her an early mock up of the book, and she edited for content and form. I brought the most recent mock up and recent work, and we edited again together. The process pushed me to defend the inclusion and presentation of materials. I asked myself if the image reinforced the book's concept. The big thing I have come away with it that I have to keep it simple—oh, I should have this as a tattoo. Not that I have not heard this through out my life and from many life lessons, but the honing down is teaching me to ask closed questions and simplify. I love so much of the work I have created this term: landscapes, portraits, and life's details. All the work is interesting existentially, but a core part is relevant and useful. I need to focus and simplify on that material. The editing process teaches me continuously to confirm my ambitions, goals, and the continuity of the project. Life is continuously teaching. This is a good week. 

Third Studio term- thirteenth week thru May 7th

The week flew by organizing and editing my book. I love the old postcards, maps, and newspapers and my images of folks who shared their time with me. The process of clarifying my frame and tweaking my message proves to be fun and funny as I realize my perception of history [who was where and dates—the eighties are fuzzy in my memory, i was a child] and the historical record are not aligned. This does not change my argument but it does reinforce my observation that the layers of misconception and presumptions force a collective consciousness people have about the landscape—particularly ownership. I spent yesterday researching the records of Scott Paper Co. and Great Northern. My community has been defined by their presence and their demise. I also refreshed my memory on dates and the acquisitions of AMC and Roxanne Quimby, both of whom represent the new faces of land use and ideologies, different from the established forest industry and difficult for locals to accept. They offer public access, but it is different. Particularly Quimby's non-motorized and non-hunting policies do not come easily to locals who have used the land as their own. This whole scenario of new ownership of large blocks of land makes people angry and scared. What they should be doing is thinking about their concerns in terms of questions. Let's play Jeopardy!!! The categories are the rights of land ownership, public access, leaser rights, economic dependance, rural economy, access and fiber. In the twenty first century we have passed a threshold where a good portion of the North Maine Woods changed ownership. Mostly this happened in the past two decades. New players have a new agenda, and it does not read like the last century of industrial timber but rather tourism, development, investment, and conservation. The woods industry will always be present in the Maine North Woods, but after fifty years of liquidation harvesting the landscape cannot offer the material nor does the industry offer the jobs they once did. Owners are present for an investment—business is business. So, we are faced with the a quandary of economics, sociology, politics, and...
This has divided by community. It saddened me to listen to folks talk about Squaw Mt., Great Northern, the railroad or the log drives. They are gone. The funeral procession for these industries have long passed and people need to focus on the resources available and those which can be garnered with entrepreneurial spirit to make action. I have gone on a rant, but we are what we do. The Moosehead region is a great place, a spectacular location and its bountiful natural beauty is a gem for all. We can and will sort out this new quandary, but integrity and accountability must be maintained. I fear that that economics of need and greed will led to exploitation and further decay of the region's social infrastructures from roads and schools to regulations and law enforcement. Maine is the way life should be, but with times hard people are being short sighted. Our people are our greatest resource and give them credit and we will get through this together!

Third Studio term- twelvth week thru May 1st

Traveled to Boston to attend MassArt photo lecture by Hank Willis Thomas and meet with my artist teacher, Laura McPhee. I was very stressed by the transition from gathering to building my book. I agonize over all the materials. We discussed winnowing, and I have settled into the book nicely and laid out sixty pages rough to start. I need to take many of the images into photoshop and build the pages because iphoto books only offer certain layouts. This was a great week. I made to write my mid term evaluations and that sat me down to rethink what I am doing and why and confirm that I am on track. May looks to be a good month. APril was putrid but it is behind me. Cheers to progress and a product.
I asled John Willis to be my mentor next term and he agreed. His critiques offer valuable insights. I enjoy the layers he weaves into his comments. Three months and we will be back in Vermont. 

Third Studio term- eleventh week thru April 24th

Preparing for my next critique with my artist teacher-mentor. I have been studying the materials of The Atlas Group. Ra'ad's offerings provide numerous models to extrapolate different means to voice my concerns for the contemporary social landscape and land use. It is playful to write my own history book. I have invented characters to explore the historical materials I have and connect to the present. The Atlas Group is a great model to juxtapose my competing concerns such as access, land rights, development, conservation, preserving traditions, and retaining industry. Life is a puzzle and all the pieces do not fit together nicely. This is indeed my life.
Learning the Blurb software is lame. I thought my edits looked good, but now I need to alter the images in photoshop again. I wanted to accomplish more this month. The process of making a book is not fun, at least not today. I love the photographing and collecting stories. I have been very stressed by the process. I have all these pages laid out but getting the scans right and the graphic design of the piece together takes another whole set of skills. I have decided to do a dumbie book for my critique and focus this next month on the technical execution of the piece. I need to focus on achievement of my project. I get too distracted and engaged in chasing every idea related to my proposition that I do not have the time to test and edit the final. This is a challenge in my writing too. I need to set limits to stop reading and layout the paper and in the studio to focus. Well, those are my faults besides sugar and swearing like a sailor [my grandfather was in the Navy and seldom swore, but I love this saying. I think of cute boys in sailor suits. I also think of the west village gay parade. All these things make me smile. See, I digress...]. Hope I get this is a good place. I am very stressed at present.
I love photography. It sustains my curiousity of what things are, who people are, and how things are so similar yet so different. I love to ask questions. The 8x10 camera is my favorite because it allows me to look. The practice of seeing the world around me, truly studying it, is a most joyful practice. I love the sending away of film and the recieving of images, 8x10 slides–so clear and present as the present moment. I love that. The power of memory as an affect is delightful. The current project is about the question of memory, mine and the viewer's, to connect meaning and it uses photography but photography is just a tool. This is a separation from practice as work to practice of an idea. This is the crust of conceptual work versus commercial. I want an affect not an object. Hummmmmmm. >^..^<

Third Studio term- tenth week thru April 17th

Editing and playing with versions of my pictures and collected materials.

Big news. The Plum Creek rezoning plan was thrown out by a state judge because the previous judge did not follow legal procedures of public comment. I hope the plan does not get thrown away. I want it to be over, but I do not want some of what it will bring—people, more people. So much was acomplished in all the hearings and many people contributed to the changes that matter to Maine people. They will need to run public hearings on the last version and LURC will vote again. I cannot emphasize the volumes of work done to protect and perserve important places, and there are still parts that do not make sense and that people do not like, but change is inevitable. I had thought that when the individual sites sought development, that would be the time for redress and critical analysis. People are tired and frustrated by constant negative banter and the power of money. It seems everyone was paid off by Plum Creek to get the plan through. Representative Davis of Sangerville complained that a corporation paid 25 million to seek rezoning. This amount does not shock me; they retained law firms, marketing firms, economists, every expert and scholar, and donated to community groups too. The five years of litigation was long and divisive. It may have put Moosehead on the map, but it hurt the social integrity of our community. People want and need jobs. Plum Creek makes promises of jobs. The truth of what will be in the region in twenty years cannot be seen. There are hundreds more homes here than when I was a child, but there are far less jobs and less opportunities for entrepreneurship. The mills closed because of cost. Even the internet can not counter the overbearing costs of transportation and heating. This territory is beyond the pale. I love it, but times change and people need to accept it or it will just happen around them. I want to fight for the quality of life in the region, but development is going to happen. We need to strike a balance and protect special places and the contiguous silvaculture that is the future of any industry in the region.

Third Studio term- nineth week thru April 10th

The Maine legislature has a constant news line these days and it is not their efforts to improve the economy, environment or Maine's quality of life. The news is the mouth on the new Governor. His actions and words are getting international attention. If the "Obama-Kiss my butt," "NAACP- Go to hell," and the "Women with little mustaches" remarks were not enough of his bad behavior, bad sense of humor, and disrespect, than you need to follow his recent actions. The governor decided to remodel the Maine Department of Labor from a space celebrating all labor's contributions to one focused on the business owners. He decided to remove a commissioned art mural that depicted the history of labor in Maine. This was not a dramatic piece like The Jungle. It depicted children, men and women whose labor built the industries and history of Maine. The piece is somber and historical. The mural was secretly taken down over a weekend, is being stored at an undisclosed location, and is at another example of LePage's restructuring of Maine's government. His actions speech loudly against our bill of rights and democracy. In LePage's government, the people do not have participation [The artist was not notified and no public process was followed to remove the mural], freedom of speech [The governor has a gag order on the state employees], and democracy [The first amendment is a right to Americans].The work was commissioned and approved by the people of Maine. The federal money, the artist, and the people are contractually connected to the work being displayed for the public at the Department of Labor. Governor LePage intends to construct a space where the business owners are the focus. This new take of Maine history will not represent the people of Maine. The twentieth century does not exist in LePage's take. It is a sad day. The businesses do not run without employees. Their labor is crucial to any production. Mutual respect is essential to good business, good neighbors and good government. Mr. LePage missed his critical lesson in good citizenship.

On this matter a lawsuit has been filed and a rally will take place at the statehouse hall of flags. The turnout was marvelous. The speakers stretched across the state. Over two hundred people attended.

In the studio I am collecting newspapers and digesting all the actions of the new government. This is not republican; this is insanity. I am saddened and appalled by the disrespect and mean character of our governor. Sad.

I have shoot a lot of film of the region's businesses, homes, signs, public spaces, tracks, and a dozen other categories. The film will be processed this week and I am eager to edit and organize my books.

My mood is low with the political climate and the weather. Snow forecasted until May. Somehow this year seems worse than ever. The cold is bitting.

Third Studio term- eighth week thru April 3rd

Got my paper off to Carlos finally despite two hospital and doctor visits. Now I am rereading the anthology on Situation and the MassMOCA book on the Situationists exhibition.
The blue sky is killing me. I want to shoot a selection of homes in Greenville and the full blue March sky does not work for me. The weather bureau is calling for snow on Friday—forgive me I am excited. The banks are melting slowly and spring will come by May first. I am shooting in the afternoons to get better light, but it is still not what I want. Forgive me I am whining. I explored the website Blurb and I am reviewing materials in my archive to develop my storyline. The photographs from ten years ago show many buildings and businesses gone, but the general feel of Greenville is the same. I love the old marketing materials, postcards and newspapers. This space was hopping a hundred years ago!

Third Studio term- seventh week thru March 27th

Not a good week. The chest pain and nausea make action unpleasant. Monday we drove to New Hampshire. Tuesday I drove to Boston for my artist teacher critique. It was a great meeting. I feel a clear direction, progress and the book mission is coming together nicely. I visited E.P Levine and my film developer, Color Services. It was a long day. The drive home was brutal, but showing my work and discussing my plan and ambitions is rewarding. I ended up in the hospital all day Wednesday because the pain was too much to bare. Thursday I saw my doctor as a follow up than we drove home to Maine. It was a crazy time, but I am really excited about the work and Laura asks great questions. I attended a lecture at MassArt before our meeting, The State of Ata by Mile Mandel and Chantal Zakari. Their visual critique of modern turkish culture through the popular use of iconography and Ata's cult of personality offered numerous examples of creating situations. The work is fresh and engaging as was their presentation of it. I loved the Zine in their book, Taxi Rides. The graphic use of the comic book and playful setting of situations with taxi drivers to find new statues of Ata was fun and revealing of the presence and depth of Ata in Turkish society. Great work!

Third Studio term- sixth week thru March 20th

Outlining paper for first mailing of visual culture project. I examined a few of my favorite photography books and ones suggested to me. The works of Bill Burke, An-My Le, Alec Soth, and Alan Sekula shared their passions and perspective while requiring different degrees of knowledge: aesthetic and contemporary. When ideas are communicated effectively, they have a curious contagious effect and led you to more ideas and so forth. This is the beauty of lifelong learning and all these artists achieve this. Their work lives on beyond them, independent with each new viewer. I love books.
Thursday was St. Patrick's Day and it was not a celebration. I had a gallblader attack and plurasey—not fun. Writing between wenses.

Third Studio term- fifth week thru March 13th

Drove to Rockwood and photographed sites: road in and out with views of Squaw Ski area, Moose Mt. and of Kineo, closed elementary school, post office, churchs, store, school bus, snowmobile trail, House for sale et more. The afternoon sun cast surprizingly harsh shadows for this time of year. I reluctantly stopped. Deer were graving through the snow in Maynards front lawn. I will defineately return once the rain and snow subside. On the Lily Bay side of Moosehead, I photographed signs of the season, road limits. There are points in the road that I acknowledge each trip. The first sign of Squaw Mt Ski Area's trails lined up with the icy Lily Bay Rd. The condition of the road is a study in itself [of cource I have been shooting that too ;)]. The stricking difference between county and state standards shocked me when I drove to Rockwood. It was black pavement the whole way. The Lily Bay road is a luge course of snow packed by log trucks. It is a significant economic corridor for the timber industry.
I am all settled back into my studio. Jocko did a great job. It is more crozy and warm and especially nice it is consistent. Cheers to Robinson Oil's Jocko!

Third Studio term- forth week thru March 6th

Photographed bussinesses in Greenville. The number of closed sites is twice the usual plus due to winter and the economy. Sites included the old A and P, soon to close Chamber of Commerce, gas station, book store, AMC office, et more. Laying out the images on my floor the nature of winter and its crush upon our economy is stricking. The storms stop commerce. So many driveways are closed up with the number storms that have hit. The stricking difference of the townscape in summer will be an interesting pairing.

My heating system has been replaced and I am cleaning up and resituating all my things into workable spaces. It was a very hard three weeks. To not be able to get to my books let alone migrate between my usual work spaces was a shock to my system. I am eager to get back into the groove and try the scanning technique Laura's assistant adviced. Time is flying by. We have had unbelievable cold; Too cold to photograph. I tried and all my layers and glooves were not enough. Below zero is an awful space to try to achieve any mechanical operation.

Third Studio term- third week thru February 27th

I have been shooting the Frenchtown Road and along Lily Bay Rd., in Greenville and around the camps. I read the anthology, Situation as a primer for the ideas I am working through this term. I acquired the books from my bibliography and supplimentary materials. I am disecting books: their structure and substance. The use of text and supplementary imagry [found materials] interests me. The book's arc makes me think of fly fishing, that beautiful hock, pull, catch and release. My favorite books are Bill Burke's I want to Take Your Picture, Alec Soth's From Here to There, August Sanders' Face of Our Time, Fazel Sheikh's The Victor Weaps, and Alan Sekula's Fish Story. I have narrowed it to ten but these are the big five. I am in awe of August Sanders' People of the Twentith Century. I have shoot in the Moosehead Lake region for over twenty years and the archetypes are an easy pause on the nature of space. 

Third Studio term- second week thru February 20th

Lovely visit with my mentor, Laura McPhee. She asked numerous smart questions while I explained my practice and intentions for the studio plan. This focused and directed my passions. I have so needed this. I feel like I just went to the Chiropractor or OD and I got aligned. This is very good. I am ernestly making lists and out shooting in the unorganized territory and Greenville area. I love what I do and giving myself permission to just do it and celebrate it makes me happy. I tend to try to make things too complicated. I know this shocks you all, but I need to learn to not over load my projects. My focus allows for repeat study of places and characters and works in a space I know and care deeply for—the Moosehead Lake region.
I also presented my work, Unorganized Territory, at the Boston Photo Resource Center's large format night. The oppertunity to exercise speaking in public and to engage a responsive audiance on large format photography was fun and reaffirming. All in all it is a marvelous week so far. Cheers!

Third Studio term- first week thru February 13th

This week I regrouped reviewing the books from my visual culture bibliography. My studio lost its furnace January 27th. The new furnace may arrive this week. I moved desk and workstations, covered all with plastic, and now pray the installation is fast and without incident. I am quite anxious. I have lost two studios to water damage, so this incident brings me back to bad memories of Boston Back Bay and Hopkinton. I am crossing my fingers and moving lots of stuff to another location. There is just so much stuff. That is an issue that I do not have the time to reflect upon at this time ;)

January 28th-February 6th Third Residency!!!

Exhausted and redirected. The ten days were a mass of lectures, critiques, the first year review, presentation of my last term's visual culture projects, research on my new visual culture projects, and honing in the new visual culture project with my advisor, Carol Matte. My critters included David Deitcher, Christobal Lenyt, Carola Herra-Prats, John Willis, Suzy Spence, Jen Morris, and my first year review was with Ashley Hunt and Janet Kaplan. I especially enjoyed the resident artist this residency, Carola Herra-Prats. Her lecture, "Collective Investigation" offered an engaging anaylsis of imigration and American money services and offered a model of critique and installation which played with the familarity of these services. I presented the photographs of the North Maine Woods and an installation of marking the landscape. The critters wanted to see mt research and process in the gallery presentation. I need to give thought to the role of the questionaire and the sound work. The outdoor installation in the tennis court only recied two reviews. It was bitter cold and most were in shock of the Vermont snow. I recieved constructive advice from John Willis and Jen Morris. Both have seen my works each term and offers helpful constructive critiques. The graduate was emotionally touching, very personal. 

week twenty-four: January 17th on

Final paperwork all into college and respective individuals. These forms include Visual Culture, Studio, Candidacy Review, Bibliography, and tentative Artist Mentor. I am relieved to have it done. I went up to Tomhegan to photograph Charlie Mnday to ease the stress of writing. Tomorrow, unless it snows too much for travel, I will go to Ragged Lake to photograph ice fishing. Uses of the landscape facinate me. I am so excited for my residency in nine days. Natalie aquated it to adults going to summer camps; I love Art Camp!!! Cheers to another great term.

Week twenty-three: January 10th on

Scanning 8x10 color negatives and chromes is evil. I have been plagged by Newton Rings...aka Moiré. My wits are rare with dismay that one can come out and another not. I persist but with tears of frustration. I know it is a self induced pain....I shoot 8x10.

week twenty-two: January 3rd

Emailed my final mailing to David Deitcher. Talked with Meg about the outside installation of tagged paths. Still waiting on the size of the Vermont College tennis court. The past two weeks have been hard due to holidays and blizzards. This last month is the slam to get the installations together.

I'm featured.

http://www.vermontcollege.edu/visual-art/residency
The college used a picture of one of my critiques during last residency. Cheers!

week twenty-one: December 27th on.

No one in Montpelier to measure for the tennis court installation. I am hard at work or rather crazy as the mad hatter writing my visual culture paper on The Everyday, Landscape, and the Artist's Process. I am "using" [he he] DeCerteau to tactically bring them together through the works of Rebecca Solnit and Roni Horn. I have also revisited Virginia Behan and Laura McPhee's Photographs and touched on Rosalyn Deutsche, Lefebvre, Deborah Bright, and Lucy Lippard. It has been a great term. I am eager to set this paper asail to dear Mr. Deitcher, so I may press myself into overdrive and print for my installation on the North Maine Woods. The photographs make me very happy, but I have so many more in my head. I got one this morning on my drive to town. Avis was sleeping so we drove into the timber yard and got the landscape I was after. 

I am still looking for a mentor for next term. Peterman had too many commitments, so I am trying to get my pen up to write another request. My dream list is Laura McPhee, Barbara Bosworth, or John Willis. They will all require quite a drive... Every place is a great distance from here. It is all part of the proccess...

week twenty: Dec 20th on

Working out the details of printing the landscapes huge at Portland Color. They can do anything. The problem is the installation on college hall. I am coming to terms with the access issues: fragil facade, windows that do not open, et ceteras. I am not happy, but I am moving to the tennis court. I will install the prints and my trackings in the fensing. Now size is the question,, oh and I need to celebrate Christmas. Avis wants to see Santa and baby Jesus.